Resources for Grief

Lord, I’m hurt.
Nowadays, whenever I think of my child, I feel pain in my heart.
It causes me stop and be quiet, stirring up different emotions inside.
Mostly sadness and despair.

Lord,
I feel I’m losing him/her, if not already lost her/him.
It’s the same child but different. There is sense of loss.

I realize I’m grieving for the lost dream for my child. I didn’t know I have it.
I don’t even know what dream I had for her.
But I must have something because I feel it’s lost.

Lord,
I keep telling myself it’s not the end of story yet. The prodigal son returned home after all.
Will my child return too? Maybe or maybe not. I’m realistic as well as hopeful.
But even if my child will return, will I be as happy as the father in the parable?
Just because he returned?
What about the lost dream, the damage, the hurt, and the pain?

Why did this happen at the first place? Did he have to leave?
Did I somehow contribute it?
I struggle with the sense of failure and shame too.
It’s getting dull as time goes though. Is it a good thing? Am I supposed to do something more?

Lord,
I know I need to pray more.
I know I need to process my pain with you. I know I need to direct emotions to you.
I know you welcome them.
I know this is and will be deepening my faith and forming my character.
Thank you for these knowledges that are true and real although they don’t lessen my hurts.

So I’m choosing to continue my life journey with faith, hope and love.
I’m choosing to put my trust in you for our future.

Lord,
I need your grace to love my child well.
I need your grace to love myself well.
I need your grace to love others well.

July, 2022

"Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us."

O God who sees all, observe closely the restricting of my heart as I read this Facebook post from former
church members celebrating their new church. For all the ways I may have failed this family when I was
their pastor, forgive me. For all the ways they failed me, forgive them. For whatever lingering
resentment I may feel about the way they exited (whether loudly or stealthily), forgive us all.

Lord have mercy, Christ have mercy, Lord have mercy.

As hard as these words are to vocalize to you, I ask you to bless them and their new church. Fill their
new pastor with the same spiritual power I regularly ask you to grant me. Help them grow in ways that
our church might not have provided for them. And perhaps, in your mercy, help them pause to
remember blessings present in our church that may not be fully present in their current context.

Cause us all to long for that day when there is no longer this church and that church, but there is only
You and us.

Amen

July, 2022

Holy God,

Accept our prayer for the deliverance of those who struggle to survive in a society
that celebrates success. As the immigrant struggles to find footing, who will walk
with him/her? Does the immigrant have a church that prays in their native
language? Do they have friends and neighbors who can walk with them, comfort
them and dry their tears?

Awaken those who are sleep comfortably and peaceably in their affluence. Instill
in them a humility that breaks open their hearts to allow them to notice the man
who in his broken-down old car must drive too far on fumes. Bless the soup
kitchens and food banks that generously offer food to one and all.

Help us care for the person surviving on so little that they can easily be broken in
spirit. Remind us that Jesus loved such persons and would rebuke us for our
insistence that they learn to ‘help themselves.’

Grant us the wisdom God to show that your world has ‘plenty’ and that it is in our
greed that we induce a sense of ‘not enough.’ Take our hearts and ‘shake them
out’ so that love, compassion and generosity fall out endlessly. This is what you
have done for us with your love God, and we bless you!

Amen.

July, 2022

“Loving God, faithful friend,
our minds and hearts have hardly grasped
what reality demands we accept.
Our dear brother/sister/friend (etc.)
is gone from us.
Send us your grace and comfort, O God,
even through the shock and pain.
Assure us again that in your love,
through Jesus Christ our Lord,
not one of your children is ever lost,
but all of us, in life and in death,
are members of your family.
In the darkness and sorrow of this hour
may hope begin to dawn –
hope that points the way to eternal life
beyond the agony of death;
hope that is firm and sure
in the resurrection of Jesus Christ, your Son,
in whose name we pray.
Amen”

Taken from In Life and in Death: A Pastoral Guide for Funerals, Written and compiled by Leonard J.
VanderZee, CRC Publications, Grand Rapids Michigan, 1992. Pg. 56, reprinted by permission of Faith
Alive Christian Resources/CRCNA, www. FaithAliveResources.org

“O God, you search our hearts and know us through and through.
Wherever we are, no matter how near or far,
you are there.
However we think or feel, no matter how high or low,
You know and understand.
In our grief and shock,
our minds are a tangled mass of conflicting thoughts,
and our hearts are overwhelmed with pain.
We ask questions for which there seem to be no answers.
We experience grief for which there seems to be no consolation.
O God, we are hurt so deeply, it seems beyond words.
All we need, all we ask, in this dark moment
is that you hold us close, and not let us go.
Embrace us and love us, Lord, even in our terrible pain,
for somehow we know that in your embrace
healing will finally come.
Somehow we know that in your care
our broken hearts will know a gentle mending.
Through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Amen.”

Taken from In Life and in Death: A Pastoral Guide for Funerals, Written and compiled by Leonard J.
VanderZee, CRC Publications, Grand Rapids Michigan, 1992. Pg. 194, reprinted by permission of Faith
Alive Christian Resources/CRCNA, www. FaithAliveResources.org

O Lord, how long,
Will my very soul cry out in pain
How long must my heart ache
at the losses….
of dear friends, to Covid, disease, age, and distractions
of community, divided, filled with tension
of our church, reduced to ashes and ruble
of what was comfortable, and familiar,
routines that are no more.

Lord heal our aching hearts,

O Lord, how long must we cry out
in the midst of the ashes and debris.

The ashes of the church, of broken lives,
of relationships, of all the stories and all of the lives
begun and ended in this place….all the praises and all
the tears

O Lord heal our broken lives

O Lord, help us for we cannot escape the pain and loss.
We try to run, filling our lives with activity and lo,
we find ourselves exhausted.
No more fulfilled than when we began.

We seek comfort in memories of the past, and lo,
we became nostalgic over what was
and resentful for what was not.

We seek comfort in things of this world and lo,
we simply add to the clutter and chaos of our lives,

We seek comfort and peace in the company of others
and lo, no sooner do they leave
and we are empty again.
The depths of our emptiness is overwhelming,
and so we wait, we wait for you Lord,
we look for you Lord.

We long for the peace that can only come from you
Yet even when we sit in silence, our minds wander,
we are restless inside and out,
pacing…..wondering…..
what else can we do,
what should we have done,
what more could we have done…..

more….. more…… more,
there is ever more to be done.

O Lord heal our restless hearts, grant us your peace.

We know that what we need is more of you, Lord.
Yet sitting in silence alone with our thoughts
and fears is terrifying.

O Lord quiet our fears,
Speak into the silence
Come, look for us and find us.
That we may know your love for us.
Call us by name so we may know
who we are and whose we are.

Then shall we know peace.
Then will we be able to be…..
to be still and know
that you are God.
and we are yours
Beloved of God.

Then we shall know how to praise you
And give you thanks
With our whole lives.
Amen

July 1, 2022

Steve Vander Woude